Becoming Visible
by TigerButterflied
Summary: Sara hears something she wasn't meant to, and now she's looking at Greg in a completely different way....


Becoming Visible

And here I am posting yet another. They aren't mine. Song's "Invisible" by Alison Moyet. This is short and angsty, set around the time Sara was dating Paramedic Hank and behaving rather dismissively toward our Greggo. PG13 for bad words. Might go up in the sequel, if there is one. Should I or shouldn't I? What do you think?

You've got me so confused

And there's words I could use

But I'm afraid to say them.

I feel like I've been had and I'm boiling mad

Still I can't live without you.

You don't have the time and you won't spend a dime

Not even to call me.

You don't know I exist and I wouldn't be missed

If I had the nerve to quit you.

Invisible - I feel like I'm invisible,

You treat me like I'm not really there and you don't really care.

I know this romance it ain't going nowhere.

Invisible just like my love

You treat me like I'm invisible...

The lab door slammed in his face and Greg heard the sharp footfalls of one very pissed-off Sara Sidle. He shook his head and let out a long, shuddering sigh. He really was just a joke to her. Yeah, he'd pushed the pretending-to-be-suave envelope WAY past believability, and she'd called him on it. She thought he was a dork - shit, he WAS a dork, always would be on the inside, but since he'd been in Vegas he thought he'd done pretty well on the image recreation - except with her. The entire Tupac thing had been stupid, had violated his main rule of believability. Now she saw through all of it, maybe even to the ugly truth - he had never, ever been the cool guy. No, in reality Greg Sanders had been a weirdly-smart nerd who took unpopularity to a new high from kindergarten right on up until graduation at 16. Dating? Hell, he'd been luck he hadn't gotten the shit beat out of him every week. College had been a learning experience - he had learned how to dress, how to carry himself, how to "pad his resume" of life experiences. Once he'd landed in Vegas he'd started over. Now he had friends, a career, professional respect. So why didn't he like himself any better? He sighed. It could be because people seemed to like the cool projected image a lot better than they had unadulterated Greg.

He proceeded to perform his tests as he considered the situation. What would his friends at the lab think if they knew he spent a lot more time playing chess than going to nightclubs, rarely drank, and dated even less? He sighed. It sucked being a dork, especially if you were smart enough to realize it.

He smacked the "Start" button on the machine and sighed. He would do literally anything for her, for just a chance to show her how good they could be together - so when she gave up on Grissom, she breezed right past him into the arms of some asshole who didn't give a damn about her. Greg had checked up on the guy, knew his reputation, where he lived, that he was a player. It broke his heart to see she'd chosen a shallow womanizer like Hank over him. She was his lady; he'd have moved heaven and earth just to make her smile, yet once again she'd shown him yet again that in her world Greg Sanders was nothing.

He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and whirled around. He was angry with her, even more so than when they'd discussed Hank. "I'm desperately in love with her, she's repelled by me. So why can't I just give up? She obviously is never going to care about me," he muttered and spun around - right into the very woman who occupied his thoughts.

"SHIT! Ummmm, the tests aren't ready yet. I'll beep you when they are." He looked at the floor as he spoke - humiliation was too weak a word to describe the waves of shame washing through him at that moment. He was undone; the best he could hope for was not to make matters worse. He turned and walked away, hunching over one of the machines. He hoped she wouldn't be cruel enough to hang around.

Sara Sidle just gaped at him. She couldn't believe what she'd heard. In an instant, her assumptions about Greg and his advances dissolved like salt in boiling water. He had been crying, crying over HER, and he'd said things that she clearly hadn't been meant to hear. The sunny party-boy she'd thought was looking for a conquest had been broken; like a fragile eggshell she had shattered him. She should say something, but for the life of her she couldn't think of what. Finally she walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, and that was when her eyes started to burn.

"Greg, you don't repel me.""

He snorted. "Don't need your pity, Sara. I think we both know where we stand now. Leave me a tiny shred of dignity. Please."

"It's not pity, Greg I, ah. Shit. I had you all wrong. I thought..." She shook her head; he was walking away from her. "The least you could do is at least listen to what I have to say."

He looked at her then. "I never could refuse you anything." He flopped down into a chair. "So talk."

"Greg, I care about you, but I thought... all the double entendres and sexual comments; I thought you were just trying to get laid." He laughed, but there was no humor behind it. "No, Sara; that'd be Hank. I know more about Mr. Pettigrew than you think. I made it my business to find out."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's making a damned fool of you and you don't even know it. Sara, he has a fiance. You're just a little side action." He shook his head sadly. "I almost told you, but I didn't want to hurt you. I thought maybe, if you looked at the situation in a different way, you'd finally see me. It was wrong of me to even hope I could be anything but invisible to you."

Sara closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "I have seriously fucked this up, haven't I."

"You can't help how you feel - or how you don't feel." Greg placed his hand over hers. "We aren't in control of who we love."

"But that's just it - I don't love Hank. I just... He was cute, nice, and he asked me out, first time anyone did that in a while." She frowned, thinking of Hank and his cool, tight, distracted kisses. How would Greg kiss, she wondered, and the image of his full lips on hers flooded her mind. She was surprised at just how much she liked the thought.

"I asked you out."

"Last year, and not for a date, just for break. Past that was just flirting and innuendo." She looked down at the floor. She wasn't being entirely honest; she'd known he was interested. Only the extent of his feelings for her came as a shock.. She thought of his comment in the hall the day of that terrible decomp. That had been a big clue, but her eyes were on Hank. She wasn't accustomed to unconditional love. Too late now. "I'm sorry, Greg. If I could go back I'd do things differently."

When she looked up he was studying her intently. "How about now?" he said slowly. "Would you give me a chance to show you I'd never hurt you?"

She swallowed hard. This would be jumping in the deep end. Greg was impulsive, emotional, and given to totally disregarding the boundaries that governed most people's lives. Given her tendency to hide behind walls, this could get scary emotionally. Once they opened this particular Pandora's box things would get very complicated.

She swallowed hard. "Yeah," she whispered. "After work."

Just then the DNA lab door swung open and Nick Stokes barreled in. "Greg!"

Sara squeezed Greg's arm "Later. My place." And with that she slipped out of the DNA lab.


End file.
